I'm a PC: Microsoft's 60-Second Masquerade Ball
Hey kids, here's your lesson for the day: The first rule of the schoolyard:
"TRYING TO BE COOL IS UNCOOL."
That's why I'm perplexed that Crispin Porter + Bogusky seemed to forget this simple principle when they developed (or as I sometimes like to say: "shat out") the new "I'm a PC" commercials for Microsoft.
The French have a word for the natural way some people can look cool without trying, and ultimately draw others to respect and admire them. It's called "sprezzatura." The sad, painful fact for Microsoft is that Mac has this in spades. And the new "I'm a PC" commercials make it clear that Microsoft wants it. Really, really wants it. Which means they really, really don't have it. If Microsoft wanted to emerge from the quagmire of doltness, they should have developed a campaign that takes what's great about themselves and pwned it. Not try to own what's great about Mac and throw a 60-second masquerade ball hoping no one will ask to see what's under the costumes.
In grand fashion, the Microsoft "I'm a PC" commercials try to establish the company as "a cool kid, too," but unwittingly erect a flashing neon arrow that screams "I'm a wannabe! Don't you wannabe a wannabe just like me?" Right. Um. Yeah. And then let's go hang out behind the band hall during lunch. With Ballmer.
Sorry, folks in the CP+B research department, but the whole "I'm a PC" concept comes off looking like a Cincinnati defensive tackle. Shame on the creative team for coming up with this testament to desperate miscellany. Shame on Account Planning for letting it slide. And shame on whoever approved the crowbar shunting of celebrity cameos. To say they were "awkward" is being nice. When Eva Longoria and Tony Parker popped on screen - the ick factor was oozing beyond the bandage. It felt like the dorky kid's big sister marched out onto the playground to scold everyone into being nice to him. Yes, and the minute she walks away someone will be rolling him around in the mud and dying his hair pink in the boys' bathroom.
Oddly enough, the celebrity presence didn't raise my respect for PCs. It only lowered it for the celebrities. I was embarrassed for them. I was embarrassed for Microsoft. Was there no one in this whole creative process who stepped back and pointed out the obvious? It was like Michael Jackson was about to have another plastic surgery and everyone in the room was either nodding and saying "sounds like a great idea!" or just looking the other way with a smirk.
The best part of the "I'm a PC" commercials is the irony. The spots reinforce in rainbow colors Microsoft's position of being on the outside of the cool crowd looking in. And Apple didn't even have to pay for it. Microsoft is trying so hard to connect with culture and humanity, but just like Data's quest for humanity in First Contact, Microsoft's "I'm a PC" is little more than clumsy attempts to graft bits of human skin onto robotic limbs. Is it a coincidence that sci-fi's iconic android has more personality than the PC world's own humanoid icon? There's really only one thing worse than trying to look cool when you're not. It's trying to look human when you're not.
At the end of Microsoft's "I'm a PC" masquerade ball, the costumes will come off, the poser will be exposed, and the kids on the playground will show no mercy.
"TRYING TO BE COOL IS UNCOOL."
That's why I'm perplexed that Crispin Porter + Bogusky seemed to forget this simple principle when they developed (or as I sometimes like to say: "shat out") the new "I'm a PC" commercials for Microsoft.
The French have a word for the natural way some people can look cool without trying, and ultimately draw others to respect and admire them. It's called "sprezzatura." The sad, painful fact for Microsoft is that Mac has this in spades. And the new "I'm a PC" commercials make it clear that Microsoft wants it. Really, really wants it. Which means they really, really don't have it. If Microsoft wanted to emerge from the quagmire of doltness, they should have developed a campaign that takes what's great about themselves and pwned it. Not try to own what's great about Mac and throw a 60-second masquerade ball hoping no one will ask to see what's under the costumes.
In grand fashion, the Microsoft "I'm a PC" commercials try to establish the company as "a cool kid, too," but unwittingly erect a flashing neon arrow that screams "I'm a wannabe! Don't you wannabe a wannabe just like me?" Right. Um. Yeah. And then let's go hang out behind the band hall during lunch. With Ballmer.
Sorry, folks in the CP+B research department, but the whole "I'm a PC" concept comes off looking like a Cincinnati defensive tackle. Shame on the creative team for coming up with this testament to desperate miscellany. Shame on Account Planning for letting it slide. And shame on whoever approved the crowbar shunting of celebrity cameos. To say they were "awkward" is being nice. When Eva Longoria and Tony Parker popped on screen - the ick factor was oozing beyond the bandage. It felt like the dorky kid's big sister marched out onto the playground to scold everyone into being nice to him. Yes, and the minute she walks away someone will be rolling him around in the mud and dying his hair pink in the boys' bathroom.
Oddly enough, the celebrity presence didn't raise my respect for PCs. It only lowered it for the celebrities. I was embarrassed for them. I was embarrassed for Microsoft. Was there no one in this whole creative process who stepped back and pointed out the obvious? It was like Michael Jackson was about to have another plastic surgery and everyone in the room was either nodding and saying "sounds like a great idea!" or just looking the other way with a smirk.
The best part of the "I'm a PC" commercials is the irony. The spots reinforce in rainbow colors Microsoft's position of being on the outside of the cool crowd looking in. And Apple didn't even have to pay for it. Microsoft is trying so hard to connect with culture and humanity, but just like Data's quest for humanity in First Contact, Microsoft's "I'm a PC" is little more than clumsy attempts to graft bits of human skin onto robotic limbs. Is it a coincidence that sci-fi's iconic android has more personality than the PC world's own humanoid icon? There's really only one thing worse than trying to look cool when you're not. It's trying to look human when you're not.
At the end of Microsoft's "I'm a PC" masquerade ball, the costumes will come off, the poser will be exposed, and the kids on the playground will show no mercy.
Labels: advertising, Apple, branding, Crispin Porter, Microsoft
posted by Michelle Tripp at
3:06 AM
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